I desperately need assist, I am drowning in hatred for my body : loseit
I’m crying as I write this. I need assist badly. I’m 42, and sitting at a dimension 26, the largest I have ever been in my existence. Last week a baby in the street pointed at my stomach and mentioned ‘child! child!’ to his mother. I just about died of disgrace at the spot.
Years in the past, in 2015/2016 I was once operating and coaching at all times. I ran a marathon, numerous 5k races, coaching five days per week and figuring out with a non-public teacher. I was once nonetheless giant (99kg) however guy I was once wholesome. I had minimize out chocolate, caffeine and fizzy beverages for over five years. I was once maintaining a healthy diet and felt nice.
Over the years my psychological well being deteriorated till in 2017 I had a complete on breakdown. Ended up in sanatorium, was once discharged towards my will and circle of relatives/buddies had to stick with me 24/7. It was once that unhealthy.
The final two years had been a combat to get my psychological well being again, and I’ve disregarded my bodily well being badly.
I’m on various other medicines, all of that have weight achieve as an aspect impact.
I have a tendon dysfunction in my foot which makes it painful to stroll, on occasion I have to make use of a strolling stick
I have RSI in my wrists which makes lifting issues painful.
I haven’t any power and am exhausted at all times (I be afflicted by insomnia and nightmares). I stroll 1 mile house from paintings and by the point I get house I’m too drained to even take off my sneakers. Sometimes I take a taxi to paintings as a result of I’m too drained to stroll.
Being as fats as I am is terrible. I’m in ache at all times, my body will get in the best way and I’m so self acutely aware of my dimension, that at weekends I cover in my area so I may not be stared at. I’m an enormous dimension 26, I weigh greater than a freakin’ gorilla and I hate my body such a lot I nearly can not endure it.
I do have a therapist I’m running with, and he or she says I have an consuming dysfunction and that is sensible. But I can not undo that in a rush.
What can I do to shed some pounds, making an allowance for my diseases and boundaries? There needs to be one thing. I can not pass on like this, I simply can not. I’m no longer taking a look for miracle answers or in a single day magic tablets. I simply need concepts. I need assist.